


Collegestuck

by ShotaLevi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Collegestuck, Gen, Humanstuck, Schoolstuck, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShotaLevi/pseuds/ShotaLevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of our favorite characters attend the prestigious Alternia University in this Humanstuck adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Plane

**Author's Note:**

> Okay uh.. Hello! Quick note just to clear something up, the ages are not the same as in the comic. Naturally they are older, but what I mean here is that they are not all the same age.  
> Ex:  
> Comic: Eridan and Gamzee are the same age  
> This story: Eridan is two years older than Gamzee  
> Also, If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes please alert me! English is not my first language so I might be a little rusty.

\--John: Fly

Your name is John Egbert, and you are very excited for your first day of college. You start tomorrow, and as of right now, it is 11:58 PM. Did I mention you are on a six hour flight? You are on your way to the most prestigious school around, Alternia University. Some people might think its stupid for someone as grown up and mature as you to get excited over this, but it really is a big deal. A really really big deal. The entrance exams for this place must have been terrible, but of course you wouldn't know. Why would you? You are the only scholarship student they have had for decades. You have to admit, you do feel pretty awesome about it. Except for the fact that your family could only afford to pay for your sister to go to these schools. That is why you had to work so hard for these scholarships. Hey, that is another reason to be excited! You haven't seen Jade in months! You spent the summer with your father as oppose to her staying with her boyfriend and his family. This is going to be so awesome. You wonder how her life is going. Hey its 12:00 now. You should be landing soon.

\--Jade: Wait

You are waiting, and you have been for several hours now. You wonder briefly where your boyfriend went, and then remember he went to get you some coffee. Even though airport coffee sucks and tastes like piss water, you have been living on it since you got here. You are genuinely surprised Karkat offered to go buy it, but you guess he's tired as well, and that is another excuse to go get some for himself. Even though he has been ranting non-stop for the past few hours, you are happy to have someone here with you instead of waiting in an airport alone for your brother. Besides, he is waiting for someone as well. You see Karkat approaching with two cups and a scowl on his face. You kiss him lightly on the forehead before he hands you a cup and sits down in one of the uncomfortable dark blue chairs beside you.

\--John: Land

Okay, you can handle that. You have just been warned by the captain to remain seated and prepare to land. Yeah, no duh. Who would be stupid enough to fail the simple task of not running around the cabin while the plane is landing? You guess the warning is for little kids and elderly people too old to control their bowels. Ew! Nasty visual image! Just as you mentally face palm for thinking about this, a young man runs down the aisle.. Honking? Is he wearing clown makeup??

\--Gamzee: Run down the aisle honking

On it.

\--John: Stare

Sure thing.

\--Gamzee: Honk at the guy staring at you

Which one? You decide to go with the guy in the black framed glasses, he looks nice.

\--John: Flip the fuck out

What? Why would you do th- HOLY SHIT

\--Stewardess: Intervene?

Of course you are going to intervene! It is your sworn duty as a stewardess to tackle the honking clown man and wrestle him back into his seat.

\--Gamzee: Miracles

All of a sudden you are back in your seat. It must be a motherfucking miracle delivered to you from the mirthful messiahs.

\--John: Land already!!!!!!!

Okay, okay, jeez. You are finally landing, but you are also still recovering from the shock of being honked at. It was truly a traumatic experience. You wait for the ding which means it is safe to get up and collect your few belongings. After a few uncomfortably silent minutes, the little ding noise goes off and you are grateful to get up and stretch. You grab your bag and get off the plane, almost bumping into an elderly woman who has probably lost control of her bowels. OH WAIT THAT HAS TO STOP.

\--Jade: Get excited!

Okay!! You just heard an announcement that Johns flight has landed! You are so happy to finally see him again! You shoot out of your chair and scare a sleepy Karkat who was resting on you and cause him to spill his coffee all over his shirt. He gets up in return, but not for the same reason. He is swearing and freaking out because his flesh is now burning. You try to calm him down and sprint across the huge room in a desperate attempt to find napkins.

\--Karkat: IT BURNS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

\--Jade: WHERE ARE THE FREAKING NAPKINS?!?

You eventually convince a random stranger to give you his, and proceed to sprint to Karat’s rescue. Oh god, he is making such a scene. You dry him off with the napkins you recently acquired, and try to get him to shut up.  
"Karkat oh my god I am so sorry!"  
You think he is starting to cry  
"FUCK, Jade.."  
"I know, I know, I'm clumsy, sorry.. Shhh..."  
He then hugged you tightly and stained your new shirt as revenge. Well played.

\--John: Be greeted by your sister and her strange stained friend  
Hell yeah.  
"John!!"  
Jade seemed to drop some napkins soaked in something to come hug you.  
"Hi Jade!"  
You hugged her tightly and feel something sopping into your shirt  
"Uh... Jade?"  
You pull away to reveal a big brown stain on her chest.  
"...What is that?"  
"Piss water."  
You think you are about to throw up when her shouty friend comes up behind her  
"What Jade means to say is that it is the airports coffee. It sucks."  
You regain your balance, smile at the newcomer and awkwardly extend your hand.  
"Hello! My name is John. Nice to meet you uh.."  
"Karkat," the boy said grumpily.  
He ignored your hand and you put it in your pocket, slightly disappointed.  
Jade jabbed him in the ribs and put her arm around his waist.  
"John, this is my boyfriend. Boyfriend, this is my brother.."  
Just then, crazy honky man pranced into the waiting room and came straight for you. You dove behind Jade and watched in aw as Karkat defeated the beast by walking up to him and patting his head calmly. Weird.

\--Jade: Get this show on the road

You rally up your group of freaks and help John with his bags. For some reason, Gamzee doesn't seem to have any. You finally exit the airport and eventually you hail a cab. You make the boys sit in the back because you need your own space. Also, you called shotgun. You give the driver the directions to campus so you all can get settled early. He looks at you like you are a freak and then sets off driving. Everybody acts like this when you tell them about AU, you wonder why.

\--Everybody: Arrive

Sounds like a plan. After some struggling, Karkat finally got himself and Gamzee to their dorm room, and Jade showed John to his. She told him to get settled and that his roommate would be there the next day. She also told him to get some sleep, that she loved him, and finally, she said goodnight. Nothing could have prepared them for the chaotic morning that followed.


	2. Chips and Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More new characters are introduced, and some are just hinted at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to change this back and forth from a "you based adventure" to first person, and now it has been changed back. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I may have missed some!   
> I also went a bit over-board on the Nepeta part, oops.

\--John: Wake up 

After a few hours of sleep, you have finally willed yourself to get out of bed. You still need to organize your stuff so your roommate doesn't think your'e a slob. You wonder who it is before dismissing the thought completely, how could you know? You are positive that there is no way you could know this guy.  
You quickly stash away your belongings, and wait. You literally sit on your bed and wait for like three hours. You are about to give this up when You hear the door handle turn. You straighten up and put on a ready smile, just as your new roommate enters the room. 

\--Dave: Be greeted

Do you have a choice? Right when you walk in, this guy jumps off his bed to say hi. Suddenly you feel like Mr. Popular, but of course you don't react. You just say the standard "sup", and proceed to forget he exists. Fuck this, seriously. It’s not like you want to go to this school, more like you were forced to. But, it’s strange, this young man looks familiar. Maybe you've seen him somewhere in the city, but right now you're too exhausted to care. You collapse on your bed without another word and take a long nap, fuck the police.

\--John: Wake your new roommate!!  
Uh... No, that doesn't sound like a very good idea. Maybe you shouldn't be John right now; he will be waiting around for this guy for a few more hours.

\--Nepeta: Arrive  
Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you have just arrived at your new home of several months! You are very excited to meet your new roommate; you had heard from a friend that she is very nice. As you enter the main building to find out which way your dorm is, you are greeted by an older boy who has a twirl of purple in his hair and is wearing what you are pretty sure are Real D 3D glasses with the lenses popped out. He extends an arm and tries to take your bag, but you pull back and stare up at him.  
"Who are you?"  
"Only the most eligible bachelor around," he says with his funny accent and a wink.  
Just then, a strong young man steps in front of him and relieves you of your luggage.  
"Please excuse my friend. My name is Equius Zahhak, and this is Eridan Ampora," he says, "Let me take your bags as a reimbursement for his foolish behavior."  
You smile at him and reply, "My name is Nepeta Leijon. It is nice to meet you, Equius."  
Eridan moved from behind Equius and put his arm around you.  
"Eridan! What are you doing?!" a girl with bright red shades nearly shrieks while running up to you. She then pushed him off and put a protective arm out in front of you.  
"What? I was just having some fun."  
Huh. It seems he can barely pronounce the letter "v".   
"Not by scaring the freshmen! You know I could write you up for this!"  
"Yeah, yeah," he says blandly, "I just didn’t know I could go to jail for wooing another young girl,"  
The girl doubles over in laughter  
"You have no idea how wrong that sounds!"  
Eridan waves her away and turns back to you, "I'll be seeing you later, Nepeta."  
He then winks again and walks away.  
You look at the strange laughy girl and then at Equius. He sighs.  
"And this is Terezi Pyrope. I don’t understand why nobody wants to introduce themselves today."  
Terezi regains her balance and walks up to you.  
"Need some help?" she says with a toothy grin.  
"Uh, yes, actually, I was looking for my dorm..."  
You trail off and hand her a piece of paper with the information on it. Equius looks over your shoulder as Terezi gives you directions.

As you walk, Equius begins to apologize. Again.  
"I am so sorry for that, Nepeta, I'm sure they weren't trying to make you uncomfortable," he says  
"Equius, I already told you! It's fine, really," you smile at him, "and thanks again for carrying my bags. Are sure they aren't too heavy?"  
"Of course they aren't, at least not for me, you see, I am exceptionally STRONG."  
You laugh as you arrive at your dorm room.  
"If it’s not too much trouble, can you just drop my bags inside? If you don't want to I guess it’s fine but I-" You don't get a chance to finish, he has already pushed through the door and dropped the bags on the empty bed. The other, you realize, is occupied by a huge mess of dark hair. You don't want to wake your roommate and potential friend, so you quickly usher Equius out the door and close it behind you. You now stand in the hall with nothing to talk about.  
"Who was that Eridan guy? He seemed nice."  
Equius holds in a laugh and replies, "He is the second most powerful student here. I suggest you keep to his good side. He is also a bit of a ladies man, so watch out."  
You smile and hug him lightly. When you pull away he is blushing and sweating heavily. You give another quick smile and say your goodbyes as you re-enter the room. You have officially decided, you want to be friends with Equius. Best friends.

\-- Now go take a shower!  
Finally. You meant to take one before you left for AU, but you wanted to get here early. You hope Jade doesn’t mind. Or at least, you think her name is Jade. That's what it says on the tag of one of the towels in the bathroom. You made sure to avoid that one and use a college provided towel instead. You try to make it out before she wakes up, but judging by the ruckus going on outside, she has already beaten you to it. 

\--Jade: Wake up  
Bluh, you don't want to wake up, but you know you have to. This is the second to last day before classes begin! There is a lot to do! You immediately notice the bags on the recently empty bed across from you, and try to get up in a hurry. You think you got the artist as a roommate. Or maybe the writer, you don't remember. You do remember, however, that you are all here for a reason, and yours is science! Now time to get dressed before that shower turns off and you are faced with a situation involving two half naked girls!

\--Nepeta: Get out of the shower  
You turn off the shower and step out onto a fluffy white shower mat. You reach for a towel and realize it doesn’t really cover much of your petite figure. Wellp, too bad. You are both girls anyway, what does it matter?  
\-- Jade: Get dressed?  
You are doing your best! Why is this suddenly so hard? You hear the bathroom door handle click and you slip on your jeans just in time.  
A young woman, your new roommate steps into the room. You are going to have to double check this chick’s background; you think you got paired with the model.  
You try to keep your mouth shut, but you can't help it.  
"Towels, huh? That's why I bring my own; these schools must think we are midgets!"  
You suddenly realize what you just said and you try to read her facial expression to see if she hates you for the possibly offensive joke. She is small, but not that small. Wow, what is up with you today?

After a few seconds a smile registers on her face and you silently thank the gods. She speaks in a light, calming tone.  
"Hello. My name is Nepeta, you must be Jade."  
She reaches out to shake your hand and almost drops her towel. Her face flushes red as she quickly regains herself and runs over to get dressed. You sit cross legged and face the wall as she changes.  
"Yes, my name is Jade. Nice to meet you!"  
You smile to yourself, she is so cute!  
"Oh, you might want to hurry," you warn, "my boyfriend and his roommate are coming over soon, sorry."  
You feel bad for inviting them when she wasn't even here yet, and embarrassed for forgetting your manners.  
"I thought it was a good idea to go get breakfast with them, after all, it’s only 9:35. You can come if you'd like."  
"Only if it wouldn't be any trouble," she says, pulling on her leggings.  
"Oh of course not! My treat!"  
She thanks you, and you smile in return.  
You hear a knock on the door and rush to check who it is. Sure enough, it’s Karkat and Gamzee.  
"They're here," You say, turning to her. She is wearing a grey patterned balloon skirt with a blue sweatshirt and green leggings, paired with blue ballerina flats. You suddenly feel under dressed in your skinny jeans and green tank top, but you don't mind. You tie up your hair in a quick messy bun and examine her short, brown hair.  
"What is it?" she asks nervously  
"Nothing," you reply with a laugh, "I just really like your hair."  
She smiles as another annoyed knock comes from the other side of the door. When you open it, you kiss Karkat on the cheek and fist bump Gamzee. You introduce them to Nepeta quickly, and lead them outside to the car you had flown over yesterday. It was pretty big; you could probably fit all of your friends in there! You all climb in and set off in the search for food.

\--Karkat: Go get breakfast  
You have wanted to do that for a while, but being the amazing boyfriend you are, you waited for Jade. You sit next to her in shotgun, even though you kind of wanted to drive. Her new friend seems nice enough, but she hasn't spoken much so you're not really sure. When you arrive at the breakfast place, you all sit at a table and go around asking questions. At one point Nepeta asks you why you are dating a freshman when you're a sophomore. Why does that even matter? She is acting like you are all still in high school. Jade blushes and pulls you from the other side of the booth and plants one on youry lips. Everybody agreed the question was answered and then you all kind of just waited awkwardly until your food came. You all got pancakes, except for Gamzee. He just ordered a bottle of Faygo "to go". You have no idea what he means by that, and you wonder if you should be concerned that that seems to be all he eats.

\--Jade: Introduce everyone properly  
"Nepeta, this is, as you already know, my boyfriend. His name is Karkat Vantas. And this," you gesture to Gamzee, "Is his moirail."  
"Jade, I told you a million times, moirail isn't a word!" Karkat shouts.  
"Gamzee thinks it is, so I do too," you reply smugly

\--Nepeta: Be thoroughly confused  
Wow uh.. Are they really dating? Karkat and Jade are fighting over the word... "moirail". Huh. You guess you will just have to look it up some day. Gamzee sits at the table staring off into space and you decide to distract yourself by looking around this little eatery. You spot an olive skinned girl looking at you, as if trying to understand a complicated chart of some sort. Eventually, the blonde miss that was sitting across from her stops babbling about clothes and knitting and follows her gaze. You are thankful for the waitress finally bringing your pancakes so you don't have to continue the awkward stare-off. Kind of like a distraction from a distraction. You turn to see that Karkat has given up and decided that Jade had won. For now.

\--It’s been a while; let's check back with John and Dave.--

\--Dave: Wake up  
You begrudgingly oblige to the orders of your body, and slink out of bed. You check to see if your shades are still on, and pick your bag up off the ground. You quickly store your possessions in the little night table next to your bed. Now that that's out of the way, you sit back down on the bed. Across the room, you can see the same young man sleeping against the wall. He must have dozed off while watching you sleep. Fucking creeper. You decide you were hungry and go off to find food. You want to be quick, you have to get back before he wakes up. You might be cool and ironic, but you are not a total douche bag. You at least want to get his name. Why not? As you make your way down the hall, You can't help but notice the large amount of holiday posters and banners. You make a mental note to take them down as soon as you can. Christmas is in three months for Christ's sake. Halloween hasn't even passed yet. You exit the main hallway and realize for the first time that you have absolutely no idea where you are going. Whatever, you'll get there soon enough.

\--Eridan: notice the hottie  
It's a guy but who cares? Your'e not picky.

\--Dave: Be hit on  
All of a sudden, this junior guy walks up to you. Oh god, it's a hipster. You try to ignore him, but he keeps up pace and stops you at the door. Oh dear lord is he hitting on you?  
"Move."  
"Not happening, hot stuff."  
"Dude, get out of the way."  
"I told you no. Now, what's your name cutie?"  
"Did you just call me cute?"  
"How could I resist?"  
Eventually, you just push him out of the way and make your way down the stairs and out of the building. You see a map and discreetly check it as you walk by. You walk to a corner store, and buy soda, chips, and Skittles. You are ironically buying the Skittles for your sister, she loves that shit. You avoid the hipster and get back to your dorm right before that other guy wakes up. He'll never know. What's his name, anyway?

\--John: Get up  
Sigh, fine. You don't actually remember falling asleep though. Huh. When you stand, you feel a sharp pain in your neck. You guess that's what you get for sleeping against a wall. Your roommate doesn’t seem to be here right now, but you can hear footsteps outside the doorway. You can't brush off the feeling that you have met this guy before. Strange. You know you have seen those shades somewhere, and his hair.. Woah. OH MY GOD.

\--Dave: Get in there  
Chips in hand, you return to your room. This time though, the guy tries to tackle you. You push him off and pin him against the wall.  
"The fuck, dude?"  
"Dave!! It's you, isn't it? Oh my god it's been so long!"  
Just then, something clicks in your mind and you release him to drop to the ground. No, not "him". John.  
"Holy shit. Egbert?"  
"I missed you!"  
He tries to hug you again, but you push him off and sit on the bed.  
"The last time I saw you was in middle school!"  
"Yeah, wow. Didn't think you'd be here."  
"Do you... Not want me to be here?"  
You give him the patented Strider stare and you sit there in silence until you throw the chips at him.  
"I got chips."


End file.
